When parents are in conflict, children are greatly affected. While many parents think that they are keeping the conflict away from their children, they are often sadly mistaken. Even if parents try not to fight in front of their children, the children notice tension in the home. Parents who are experiencing conflict need to understand that this tension has a profound effect on their children, causing many problems, such as behavior and academic difficulties.
Children whose parents are in conflict often do poorly in school. Children blame themselves for parental conflict, mainly because they do not have the maturity to realize that the parents are the ones who create and maintain the conflict. Many children feel as though they have done something wrong to create the conflict, and as a result they have a difficult time concentrating in school. Even conflicts that seem mild to the parents have a tremendous impact on children, because they do not have the ability to discern various levels of conflict. Similarly, conflicts between parents can cause children to act out among their peers. This is also a result of the guilt the child feels, as well as the increasing frustration a child experiences in a home that is full of parental tension.
Children whose parents are continually in conflict soon begin to speak ill of one parent when around the other. For instance, when the child is around the father, he may tell bad stories about mom, and visa versa. This happens because the child is trying to gain the favor of the parent he is with. It does not mean the child actually feels negativity toward the other parent. However, it does provide fodder for the conflict, which continues to escalate, and continues to harm the child.
In addition to these problems, children who are living with parents who are in conflict all of the time often experience health problems. Children whose parents are fighting do not sleep as well as children in stable homes, and this affects their overall health. If the tension continues for a long time, children lose even more sleep, and they begin to get sick and run down. Also, if the conflict ceases, the negative impact continues. Research indicates that the anxiety and physical problems experienced by children who saw high levels of conflict between their parents can continue for at least a year. For this reason, parents need to work hard to keep their homes happy and harmonious. Parents who disagree need to make sure that they do so behind closed doors where their children cannot hear. Finally, parents should make sure that they apologize to each other in front of their children if conflicts arise. This will help the children to avoid the negative impacts of living with parental conflict.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN
What is it?
Sexual abuse of a child is inappropriately exposing or subjecting the child to sexual contact, activity, or behavior. Sexual abuse includes oral, anal, genital, buttock, and breast contact. It also includes the use of objects for vaginal or anal penetration, fondling, or sexual stimulation. This sexual activity may be with a boy or a girl and is done for the benefit of the offender. In addition, exploitation of a child for pornographic purposes, making a child available to others as a child prostitute, and stimulating a child with inappropriate solicitation, exhibitionism, and erotic material are also forms of sexual abuse.
Who are the victims?
Sexual abuse can occur in all populations. It happens to children in both rural and urban areas, in all socioeconomic and educational levels, and across all racial and cultural groups. Statistics indicate that girls are more frequently the victims of sexual abuse, but that the number of boys is also significant. Estimates suggest that males account for 25-35% of child sexual abuse victims. Factors that may increase a child’s risk of sexual abuse include being between the ages of 7 and 13, having the absence of a parent from the home, and being a young child who appears isolated, depressed, or lonely. There also exist common characteristics of the families in which sexual abuse of children occur. They include social isolation, the presence of a domineering father, an absent mother (either physically or emotionally), few role boundaries, and parents with a history of being physically or sexually abused as children. Furthermore, a child is also at increased risk if he or she is forced to assume the parenting role at an inappropriate age.
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Who are the perpetrators?
The majority of sexual abuse of children is done by someone the child knows. Sexual abuse can occur within the family (by a parent, step-parent, guardian, older sibling, or relative) or outside the family (often by a person well known by the child and family). Looking at a number of retrospective surveys, results have indicated that no more than 10-30% of the offenders were strangers. In 90% of child sexual abuse cases, the offenders are male and are often described as being unassertive, withdrawn, and emotionless. Other common characteristics include a history of abuse (either physical or sexual), alcohol or drug abuse, little satisfaction with sexual relationships with adults, lack of control over their emotions, and occasionally mental illness. These offenders usually create opportunities to be alone with a child. emales can also be the perpetrators. However, they tend to use persuasion rather than force or he threat of force (threats of physical force or actual force are more common with male erpetrators and older victims). Interestingly, boys are more likely than girls to be abused by a female.
What are the signs/effects?
Although children who have experienced sexual abuse may be too frightened to tell anyone, there are physical and behavioral signs that may be seen. Physical signs are vaginal or rectal bleeding, pain, itching, swelling, or discharge; difficulty with bowel movements, urinating, or swallowing; recurring complaints of stomach-aches and/or headaches; and trauma to breasts, buttocks, lower abdomen, or genital or rectal areas. Their undergarments may also be torn, stained, or bloody. They may have vaginal infections or venereal diseases, and they may display difficulty in walking or sitting. Behavioral signs are extreme changes in behavior (loss of appetite, eating disorder, clingingness, withdrawal, aggressiveness); recurrent nightmares, disturbed sleep patterns, or a sudden fear of the dark; regression to infantile behavior (bedwetting, thumb sucking, excessive crying); fear of a particular person or fear of being left alone with a particular person or at a particular place; frequent lying, and delinquent behavior or a fall in grades at school. These children may also express unusual interest in or knowledge about sexual matters, express affection in inappropriate ways (for a child his or her age), and even engage other children in sexual activities or act out sexual behaviors (such as intercourse or masturbation). In addition, the victims may have poor relationships with other children, a lack of self-confidence, and the desire to engage in self destructive behavior (biting oneself, pulling out hair, wrist-cutting).
What can be done?
If sexual abuse of a child is suspected, it should be reported to a child protective service or to the police. Any professional who fails to report a suspected case of abuse may face criminal charges for not reporting their suspicion. However, it is not the responsibility of the person suspecting abuse to prove that abuse has occurred. It is important for the victims to receive medical attention for injuries or complaints, support for their situation, and to not be blamed for the sexual abuse. It is also important for these children to receive professional help from those trained to counsel sexually abused children.
Sexual abuse of a child is inappropriately exposing or subjecting the child to sexual contact, activity, or behavior. Sexual abuse includes oral, anal, genital, buttock, and breast contact. It also includes the use of objects for vaginal or anal penetration, fondling, or sexual stimulation. This sexual activity may be with a boy or a girl and is done for the benefit of the offender. In addition, exploitation of a child for pornographic purposes, making a child available to others as a child prostitute, and stimulating a child with inappropriate solicitation, exhibitionism, and erotic material are also forms of sexual abuse.
Who are the victims?
Sexual abuse can occur in all populations. It happens to children in both rural and urban areas, in all socioeconomic and educational levels, and across all racial and cultural groups. Statistics indicate that girls are more frequently the victims of sexual abuse, but that the number of boys is also significant. Estimates suggest that males account for 25-35% of child sexual abuse victims. Factors that may increase a child’s risk of sexual abuse include being between the ages of 7 and 13, having the absence of a parent from the home, and being a young child who appears isolated, depressed, or lonely. There also exist common characteristics of the families in which sexual abuse of children occur. They include social isolation, the presence of a domineering father, an absent mother (either physically or emotionally), few role boundaries, and parents with a history of being physically or sexually abused as children. Furthermore, a child is also at increased risk if he or she is forced to assume the parenting role at an inappropriate age.
.jpg)
Who are the perpetrators?
The majority of sexual abuse of children is done by someone the child knows. Sexual abuse can occur within the family (by a parent, step-parent, guardian, older sibling, or relative) or outside the family (often by a person well known by the child and family). Looking at a number of retrospective surveys, results have indicated that no more than 10-30% of the offenders were strangers. In 90% of child sexual abuse cases, the offenders are male and are often described as being unassertive, withdrawn, and emotionless. Other common characteristics include a history of abuse (either physical or sexual), alcohol or drug abuse, little satisfaction with sexual relationships with adults, lack of control over their emotions, and occasionally mental illness. These offenders usually create opportunities to be alone with a child. emales can also be the perpetrators. However, they tend to use persuasion rather than force or he threat of force (threats of physical force or actual force are more common with male erpetrators and older victims). Interestingly, boys are more likely than girls to be abused by a female.
What are the signs/effects?
Although children who have experienced sexual abuse may be too frightened to tell anyone, there are physical and behavioral signs that may be seen. Physical signs are vaginal or rectal bleeding, pain, itching, swelling, or discharge; difficulty with bowel movements, urinating, or swallowing; recurring complaints of stomach-aches and/or headaches; and trauma to breasts, buttocks, lower abdomen, or genital or rectal areas. Their undergarments may also be torn, stained, or bloody. They may have vaginal infections or venereal diseases, and they may display difficulty in walking or sitting. Behavioral signs are extreme changes in behavior (loss of appetite, eating disorder, clingingness, withdrawal, aggressiveness); recurrent nightmares, disturbed sleep patterns, or a sudden fear of the dark; regression to infantile behavior (bedwetting, thumb sucking, excessive crying); fear of a particular person or fear of being left alone with a particular person or at a particular place; frequent lying, and delinquent behavior or a fall in grades at school. These children may also express unusual interest in or knowledge about sexual matters, express affection in inappropriate ways (for a child his or her age), and even engage other children in sexual activities or act out sexual behaviors (such as intercourse or masturbation). In addition, the victims may have poor relationships with other children, a lack of self-confidence, and the desire to engage in self destructive behavior (biting oneself, pulling out hair, wrist-cutting).
What can be done?
If sexual abuse of a child is suspected, it should be reported to a child protective service or to the police. Any professional who fails to report a suspected case of abuse may face criminal charges for not reporting their suspicion. However, it is not the responsibility of the person suspecting abuse to prove that abuse has occurred. It is important for the victims to receive medical attention for injuries or complaints, support for their situation, and to not be blamed for the sexual abuse. It is also important for these children to receive professional help from those trained to counsel sexually abused children.
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